AutoAnything

Today is July 1st and the new hands-free cell phone law is in full effect in California. Drivers are no longer legally allowed to drive with a handset being held to their ear. This law does allow for drivers to dial and text people, although some websites are reporting that legislation is under way to ban texting as well. The problems with outlawing texting, and not dialing while driving, are mind boggling… how can legislators reasonably expect law enforcement to determine whether someone was dialing or texting without unnecessary traffic stops and a huge invasion of privacy. Imagine an officer pulling you over and saying, “I’m going to have to inspect your cell phone to make sure you weren’t breaking the law.” Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think that people should ever be texting while driving; I actually consider it far more dangerous than talking on a cell phone when behind the wheel since you have to take your eyes off the road, but getting people to stop texting while driving shouldn’t be enforced through legal channels, but instead through drivers education and parental guidance. Hopefully this anti-texting bill doesn’t get passed by the governator.

On the lighter side, Parrot Bluetooth has capitalized on the new hands-free law and started a petition to make the Parrot the official bird of California, removing the quail from its office. ParrotNotQuail.com mocks the quail, saying “77 years and no results…meet the Valley Quail”. Make sure to check out the hilarious letter to Arnold. At the time of writing this, the petition on the website states that over 500,000 signatures have been collected to remove the quail from office. I for one hope this petition is real. I think California would be a greater state if the Parrot were in charge of the Quail’s (near) former duties.

In a recently made-up statistic, it has been found that 98.8% of all buyers of a cold air intake install it properly on the correct vehicle, and reap the benefits. But, oh, those in the remaining 1.2%. If you ever see a CAI sticking out of an appliance or a mower, you’ll know who to blame. The positive effects of a cold air intake are known around the world, from commuters to hardened racers. Throttle response quickens to a hair-raising thrill. High-rev punch and pull pushes to astounding levels. The cloth filter saves cash. Fuel economy bumps up a hair. All of these benefits can be had with simple installation in less than one hour. But some people take it too far. They feel the power of a cold air intake, and they begin to plot new and exciting places to install one, mistakenly thinking of their CAI as some kind of magic device instead of a highly tested piece of scientific equipment. Once that cranial light bulb flashes on—no matter how slight the wattage count—shakily-rigged disaster is the only possible outcome. Frightening pictures of CAIs jutting from everywhere aren’t enough to deter the would-be Dr. Frankenstein. That’s why you’ll see ill-fitted cold air intakes—like the ever-popular K&N FIPK—grafted onto places they never belonged. With just a couple of hose clamps, that FIPK can be crossed with a lawnmower, chainsaw, weed-eater or leaf blower. While K&N does make filters and other parts for landscaping machinery, this is an extremely bad and ineffective idea. A cutting torch can be used to transplant a second intake to the first, but the effect can be detrimental to the positive gains the original intake gave. It gets even worse. Cold air intakes have been rigged to dryers, disc sanders, floor buffers, and pretty much anything with a motor. Rumors are abound that a cold air intake even made its way “between two pillows” at a frat party in Big-Ten territory, searching for flatulent performance. Basically, anywhere there’s a budding engineer or bored backwoods yokel with a few tools, a CAI is doomed to be abused. Gone is the intention behind such a technically sound piece of performance equipment, tossed in favor of life as a redneck freak show. Fighting the freak show is easier than you might think. Resist the temptation to attempt a transplant of cold air intake power onto anything that’s sluggish.

A CAI is meant to mate with a specific vehicle with a specific engine, and will not aide other disappointments like a dishwasher or lumpy son. Follow the directions, follow the path set forth by the hundreds of hours of testing, and you’ll follow the path to power. Stray from this path, and the journey toward the automotive freak show will be swift. Don’t misuse a cold air intake like the K&N FIPK —only using it with the intended vehicle and engine will produce the correct effect. - David S. Brooks

I can’t even count how many articles I’ve read about intake systems. And I’ve discovered that most people have no clue what they are talking about. I’m going to set the record straight once and for all. It might be smart to learn how intakes work before shelling out a few hundred bucks. Let me start by saying that cold air intakes and short ram intakes both have their pros and cons. That being said, they are also very similar. The Short Air Intake System, AKA as a Ram Air Intake or Cold Air Induction, is a system that will utilize some type of external scoop that faces forward on the vehicle. Normally, it works with a pair of snorkels or a single hood scoop through which fresh air enters. Now the Ram Intake does exactly what it sounds like. As you start driving, fresh air is “rammed” through your hood, forced down the intake manifold, and filtered through the air cleaner.

Once you hit thirty five mph, this intake system will act similarly to a turbo charger; taking in more and more air to increase your horsepower. Oh yea, and they are much cheaper. Let’s look at Cold Air Intakes. The Cold Air System replaces your stock air cleaner box and its plumbing with a simple tube that relocates the air intake to a position where it is picking up cold air from outside the engine compartment. This system consists of a large tube that allows greater airflow capability than the stock filter system. I’ve noticed that people have expressed concerns about water penetrating their engines with this system. First, it is HIGHLY unlikely that this will ever be a problem. Rain and water droplets are no problem. The only case that could be a potential threat is if you drove into an extremely deep puddle, submerging the intake head. The car would have to be in the water so that the intake was submerged, and then it would start sucking up water, making your engine hydro-lock. In both cases the intake is collecting air from outside your engine compartment. The purpose of the intake is to collect a colder air charge than inside the engine compartment, allowing the fuel management system to give the engine a denser air/fuel charge into the combustion chamber. To clarify: Cold Air = More Horsepower. The warm air from your engine compartment is good for fuel economy, but because is has less oxygen molecules than a cold air charge, the fuel will be leaned out. This increases your fuel efficiency, but decreases your horsepower. To conclude, you should look at your car and figure out what system will work with your car’s ground clearance and hood type.

Now that you are an educated shopper, you can look through all the cool colors and designs to pick out your intake. Injen intakes are very popular, but I’m currently using an AFE intake. Can you hear that? Sounds like the record has been set straight. - Tim Saunier

I have not been very lucky the past few months. I had lost my job and everyone was starting to think that this would be the beginning of my down fall to a life without motivation and energy. But I couldn’t accept this kind of life. I will never give up and I have hopefully found my way out of my personal misfortune.

I am now 47 years old and many people told me that the best time of my life is pretty much over. Their opinions were verified after I lost my job two months ago. I was working for an advertising agency in San Diego, but the management decided to replace me by a recent graduate, he’s 24. I don’t know why the whole world has the idea that people over 40 are not able to be creative or to understand and interpret the current trends. They forget that trends are not just created and introduced by young people who are, by far, the minority in our society. Over 50 per cent of all people in the Western countries are over 45 but unfortunately totally neglected by the commercials, where just models and athletes are shown.

I don’t want to sound embittered and of course I do like to watch a commercial where hot girls are presenting the new Victoria’s Secret magazine. But I cannot understand why a 25 aged girl is advertising a BMW. Seriously, what is the target group of cars like BMW or Mercedes? Young girls, who don’t even have the money to pay their own bills? I don’t think so. To sum it up, I think a commercial has the task to convince the customers of the product’s quality. And therefore you need the actors in the advertisement to know what they are talking about so that the customer can trust him or her and therefore trust the product. For instance, if there is a commercial for lawyers, I want to see O.J. Simpson on the screen. This guy was at the court of justice more often than on the football field, so he knows what he is talking about. But when I see Paris Hilton in the commercial talking about the quality of colleges or libraries in L.A., I ask myself “What is going on?”

But back to me, a man who was supposed to be done with life. I am not like many older men who have accepted their fate after losing something in their lives. I would never give up. Why should I? I have a great wife and two adorable sons. There is still so much to do for me in my life and losing a job is no reason to change this thinking. But what opportunities do I have as a man at my age who has always worked in creative jobs. As I mentioned, unfortunately this kind of business, where only young people have the chance to be successful, seems to be part of my past. So I searched in the local newspapers for offered jobs that fit my resume and strengths. But after twenty calls to the different personal managers of local companies I had to accept that there were not any suitable jobs for me at all.

But two weeks ago, my cousin gave me some advice concerning a good job. It is a job that does not have the best reputation, but the payment is better than everyone thinks. I am talking about my career as garbage man. Many people likely think that this job is just for the lower class in our society, but the paycheck will prove that it is not like this. So I have decided to become a garbage man. I will start in three weeks and want to be prepared for my new job. But what is the best training for this kind of job? Exactly! - Standing on a driving car and learning how to jump off. So I purchased a car accessory recently that allows me this kind of training – Nerf bars. This purchase is the beginning of my new career as a garbage man and no one can argue me out of this.

I hope I can motivate many people by telling my story. I think everyone can be successful, no matter how old he or she is. You just have to believe in yourself. And maybe Nasta Nerf bars can help you on your way. And even if Nerf bars are not the answer for your unique problem, you always have to search for the key of your fortune!! – Tim Saunier

I’ve heard that some people like to keep bugs as pets, and there are plenty of scientists that spend their lives studying the suckers. But I simply can’t believe that there is anyone in the world who honestly has a soft spot in their heart for insects. Those entomologists must harbor some deep seated hatred that they keep in check by flexing some control over the creatures by keeping them captive and measuring their organs. It’s their way of lording over arthropods, and I have a serious hunch that it stems from a genuine loathing. Personally, I wear my unconditional disgust for all creepy-crawlers smack dab on my sleeve. If I run a cross a bug, my first move is to squash that critter before he gets a chance to dig into my flesh with his stinger or fangs. I don’t care if butterflies are beautiful to some people. When one of those colorful creatures flies at me, all I can think about is its germy proboscis slithering around on my skin. I have no qualms about ripping the wings right out of their bodies when they flitter into arm’s length. But I don’t discriminate. Be they ladybugs or black widows, I’ll mash any insect I run across into a wad of sidewalk slop. But my shoe soles can only do so much work. That’s why I love the massive front-end of my ’03 F-350. Like Louie Anderson at an all-you-can-eat buffet, the monstrous grille on my Super Duty simply devours any pest that gets in its way. Every Saturday when I give her a good washing, I can’t keep track of all the corpses lodged in the radiator, bumper and headlights. However, I hate having to stare at the slimy remains of exploded June Bugs and dragonflies on my windshield. A buddy of mine told me about an amazing auto accessory: bug avoidance shields. Apparently, when you mount one of these onto your hood, it alters your aerodynamics to push the flow of air up over your roof instead of right into your windshield. Initially, I was apprehensive about the whole business. I figured that sending those critters soaring over my roof instead of putting them out of business with my windshield was too merciful. But the more I started thinking about it, the more I realized that I’d still be doing my part to keep the bug population in check. You see, even if I don’t obliterate them outright, I’m sure that the sheer force of whizzing over my Ford at 75 miles per hour would do some serious damage. With a snapped thorax, some mangled antennae, and a clipped wing, I doubt even the heartiest cockroach in the world could last for long. So after doing some research about bug deflectors & Weathertech side window deflectors, I picked out a set. The bug avoidance shield works like a charm, and I really like the side window deflectors. They allow me to roll down the windows and not have my music drowned out by wind noise. I like to blast Flight of the Valkyries while I’m out battling with the bugs. It sounds like…I don’t know. Victory. Best bug avoidance practices dictate installing bug deflectors on the hood of your vehicle. And for maximum results I recommend a set of Weathertech side window deflectors. The Flight of the Valkyries music is optional. - David S. Brooks

I have been living in San Diego for a very long time and rain is not a factor to be feared during the summer. But my last experience taught me that sometimes you have to expect the unexpected.

Since I was 10 I have been living in San Diego and seriously, during the whole year it rains maybe 15 times. No one in San Diego ever thinks about rain because for 99 percent of the time, it does not rain in summer. But there is still one per cent left and I experienced this exact percentage a few days ago.

I went with my family to the beach, which is very close to us, but instead of walking we decided to take the truck in order to transport all the beach gear in the truck’s bed. So it was not out of laziness, but rather it was just the most comfortable way to transport the beach rackets, surfboards and baseball bats. We arrived at the beach around two o’clock and the sun was shining, bright as ever. Beside that, the waves were pretty good so we could really enjoy this day at the beach! If you live in San Diego, you can start thinking this great weather and these beautiful beaches here in California are the most normal things of the world. I know that there are so many people who did not have the opportunity to relax in the sand looking at your surfing sons in the Pacific. So I really appreciate this wonderful lifestyle and days like this make me realize how lucky I am. 

We were hanging around at the beach till around 6 pm and afterwards we decided to eat something in one of the beach restaurants because everyone was starving. These restaurants are not just known for their great food but also for their very high prices. But my stomach was not very interested in walking miles to a cheaper café. Like the commercial says:”Hunger gets what hunger wants” and my case underlines the truth of this statement. While were enjoying our delicious seafood, we noticed that clouds appeared over the ocean but we were not very interested in them. Remember, it never rains during the summer, so why should this be an exception? So we kept on eating. Suddenly the clouds became pitch-black and it started raining. It is hard to describe my feeling at this moment, but I was shocked because the rain became stronger and stronger. And I remembered that I had a lot of papers and documents in my truck bed, which I left there after work two days ago. There are two facts that emphasize why I was not the smartest man this week. First of all, I should have a cover for my truck bed, which protects my stuff in it. Secondly, I should never trust rules, especially any rules referring to nature. The weathermen try so often to forecast natural events, but they always fail. 

But instead of being angry with myself I tried to learn from this disaster. And my first step was the purchase of a hard tonneau cover for my truck bed. In doing this I can prevent repeating an experience like the last one. So I look forward to my next day at the beach, hopefully with a better ending.

I think you will find the best selection and best prices of Hard tonneau covers via internet. I hope you will recognize that a Truck bed cover can avoid a lot of hassle, trust me – Tim Saunier

When long-hauling a massive trailer cross country, it’s important to equip yourself with the proper gear. Besides an actual trailer—and a truck built to haul it—you’ll want a set of heavy-duty brakes to stop the rig, a sturdy hitch rated for the trailer’s weight and some extra-large mirrors to see who’s coming up from behind. Tow on, my friends!

Last Sunday, I took my new Airstream trailer on her maiden voyage—a simple test run—and ended up getting more than I bargained for. Before I get into the story of my weekend from hell, let me brag about my new unit. This thing is a true beauty, Airstream really had their stuff together when they designed it. She’s a thirty-three footer decked-out to the gills with all the niceties from home.

You see, this trailer’s American made, so my chest swells with pride when I grab that stainless steel handle and step inside. She’s decked out with double insulation, diamond tuck & roll, toilet, shower, refrigerator—we’re completely self-contained! In fact, I’m tempted to just sell the condo, park this baby at the Indian Lake KOA and start my early retirement.
 
But I digress, let’s get back to my bloody Sunday. I’ve got my new trailer hitch and towing mirrors installed and ready to roll. The Airstream is hitched-up to my brand new F-250, the lights and brakes are working and everything else’s in order. With only a small amount of consternation I back out of my driveway and hit the local highway. I gotta tell you—the Airstream tows like a dream and the F-250 has no problem yanking that baby around town. I even beat some numbskull at red light who tried to drag race me in his old Coronet.

Once on the open road everything was going smoothly until I heard some yahoo honking at me. I’m not sure what I did to upset him, but he was obviously hopping mad. In my mirrors I could see this wacko darting back and forth, pumping his fists, flipping me the bird and pounding on his steering wheel. Admittedly I was a bit put off, so I thumbed my nose at him, then I thumbed my teeth—just to drive the message home. Judging by his red face and the steam coming from his ears, this only served to really upset him.

I was in my happy place at the time, out pulling my new rig around, so I decided to pay this guy no mind. I continued driving, just ignoring the idiot. I remembered that I needed to do some banking so I took the next exit. I needed some cash to take my lady out later, and the bank parking lot would provide a great proving ground to test my technical towing abilities.

I get the rig parked with no problems and start walking toward the bank. Just then, this crazy freak starts rushing me. Just when I identified him as the screaming jerk I’d encountered on the road, he sucker-punched me right in the jaw. I fell hard, nearly blacking out. Then I heard him shout, “Take that to the bank!”

Next thing I know, he’s gone and I have an achy jaw. I’m sure he ran off to tell all his friends just how bad he is—before I could get back up and beat him silly.

All in all, it wasn’t so bad—sometimes it takes a good, sharp blow to the face to clear the cobwebs. I’m supremely happy with my new Airstream and all the towing accessories I loaded my F-250 with. Only, now I know to be a little more careful when I’m out there towing my rig among the restless native population.

If you need to find a trailer hitch or towing mirrors, the internet can’t be beat. These items are easy to install for the do-it-yourselfer and can be had at a terrific bargain. Just make sure you buy the hitch that’s rated for your trailer’s weight and don’t skimp on cheap mirrors. After all, you wanna see who’s coming up behind you. - David S. Brooks

Mud flaps exist to do the thankless job of stopping spatters, slop and gunk from mucking up your vehicle. Sometimes they can even prevent a run in with the law as we see in the following story.

One hundred and fifty dollars! I couldn’t believe it, but there it was, printed right there on the fix-it-ticket, $150. It was clear that there would be no way out of this one. That dang cop had me dead to rights and now the bill had arrived in all its highway-robbery glory. What now?

The saga began a few weeks ago when me and my buddies were sloshing it up at the local mud bog. My ’04 Silverado, aptly named Mud-Slinger, is built for the express purpose of, well, slinging mud. I’ve got a snorkeled cold air intake for the deep stuff, a power chip tuned for torque and a performance exhaust to let that baby exhale.

On top of the power mods, I got the Mud-Slinger lifted higher than Keith Richards on china white. I’m talkin’ 14” Skyjacker lift, triple Fox shocks front and rear, ladder bars—the works. And, it’s all sitting on top of a set of meaty 44” inch Monster-Mudder tires. These babies are so big that the Mud-Slinger practically floats over the bogs. Plus, I like the ruckus they make when those gnarly treads start clawing the pavement.
 
Of course, the Monster-Mudders are what started this ticket trouble in the first place. You see, the local deputy sheriff, Deputy Conner, is also a local mud bogger. He’s one of those snivelers that me and the Slinger end up winching from the muck. Deputy Conner drives some panty-waist Jeep that he tries to pass off as a mud machine. Silly Conner, Jeeps are for girls.

This particular day, after tearing up the bog, I’m driving the Slinger home and notice flashing lights and the wail of a siren. I pulled to side and to my utter surprise Conner struts up sporting mirrored shades and a toothpick. He asks me for my license and registration and I remind this numbskull that he’s known me since the 4th grade. Conner puffed his chest trying to act all official like and asks me step from the vehicle. That’s when the trouble began.

Ten minutes, a slight scuffle and a few embarrassing bite marks later, Deputy Conner ends up writing me a ticket for having no mud flaps! I guess the Mudders stick out to far from the wheel wells. What the hey! I’m mean putting mud flaps on the Mud-Slinger is like non-alcoholic beer—what’s the point. Of course, the way things went down I’m lucky he didn’t take me down to the pokey for assaulting an officer.

So what now? I got the ticket which means I not only have to pay the $150 fine, I gotta install mud flaps to get my record cleared. So I went online and started shopping for flaps. I was amazed at how many styles there were to choose from: diamond plate, molded plastic, flat plastic and rubber. I decided on a rubber set built for duallies. The mudslinger ain’t no dually, but I figured the wider flap would cover those 44 inchers.

Installing the flaps was no problem, they bolted right up. I did have to do a little trimming since they were dually flaps, but that was no problem. They didn’t look bad and as I found out, they actually did some good. When I start slingin’, the flaps actually keep the mud from splattering all over the truck. I used to like that muddy look, but it was a hassle cleaning up afterward. Now, the mud stays off the truck and keeps the paint looking clean.

I went downtown sporting my new flaps and got the ticket written off. I’m still ticked at Conner but we worked it out. The next time he got that girly Jeep of his stuck in the bog, my winch mysteriously got jammed up and I couldn’t help him. He just sat there fuming mad while me and the boys loaded up and headed to the watering hole for a few post-bogging brews.

Whether you’re clearing fix-it tickets or just keeping your vehicle spic-n-span, a set of mud flaps is your ticket to cleanliness. There are few brands out there, I happen to order a set of Husky mud flaps. Good luck and I’ll see ya at the bogs. - David S. Brooks

Back in the ‘70s, I practically lived in my Dodge Tradesman, and I was incredibly popular with the lassies around Milwaukee. These days, though, I wouldn’t be caught dead in one of those coffins-on-wheels. Now, I’ve converted to SUV power, and my Excursion drips with muscle and masculinity. At least, that’s what I thought before I bolted on my Pacesetter air intake and popped in a Bully Dog chip. These upgrades nearly knocked my socks off.

Even before Scooby-Doo and their hippie-fied Mystery Machine skyrocketed to the pinnacle of popularity, I was a huge van fan. There was just something about the elongated, cylindrical shape that made my mouth water. When I was a sophomore, I took up a humiliating job at a local fish-fry just so I could save up enough bread to buy my first van. A year and a lot of forearm burns later, I was the proud owner of my very own Dodge Tradesman. The old girl was pretty beat up, but I poured every spare dollar I had into tricking her out with all the accessories I could get my hands on. First, I installed a twin-size water bed into the rear. Then, I converted the side cabinetry into a wet bar. After that came the shag carpet and stereo system. I finished it off with some velvet upholstery and incredibly opaque window tinting.

It goes without saying that my van made me a popular man around Milwaukee. Every Friday night, I would buzz over to the ice rink and park right up front. When the ladies heard my hi-fi blasting out Don’t Fear the Reaper, they knew to ditch their dates and come outside to me. I always kept the wet bar fully stocked with plenty of Coors and Schnapps, so it didn’t take long to get those girls to lose their inhibitions. Man, those were the days. Carefree and cool is the only way to live.

Unfortunately, times change, and so do girls’ tastes. About the time Reagan took office, owning a van was suddenly seen as a liability with the ladies. I didn’t want to turn my back on my Tradesman, though. She had been loyal to me, and I was going to be loyal to her in return. I tried adding on some new accessories, like a roof-mounted wing and some chrome windshield wipers, but all the girls simply sneered.

I was in the love doldrums until the turn of the millennium. I made a Y2K resolution to “get with the times, van man,” to use the parlance of the Denny’s waitress who turned down my invitation for an all-expenses-paid night out at the Red Lobster. As soon as my January 1st hangover wore off, I rolled over to the Ford dealership, said goodbye to my Tradesman, and drove home in my shiny new Excursion. From the moment I sat down behind the wheel, I was bowled over by the SUV power that my Ford pumped out. But I wanted more. So I recently installed a Pacesetter air intake and a Bully Dog performance chip, and I can barely control the explosive power of this SUV. And the love life is definitely on the upswing. What can I say—big automobiles are nature’s aphrodisiac.

Like Cher, I Wish I could turn back time and load my Tradesman with a Pacesetter air intake and a chip from Bully Dog. Pacesetter air intakes, Pacesetter air intake, Pacesetter AiR F/X Induction Systems , Pacesetter reviews, discount, cheap, free shipping, online shopping, lowest price

Back in the ‘70s, I practically lived in my Dodge Tradesman, and I was incredibly popular with the lassies around Milwaukee. These days, though, I wouldn’t be caught dead in one of those coffins-on-wheels. Now, I’ve converted to SUV power, and my Excursion drips with muscle and masculinity. At least, that’s what I thought before I bolted on my Pacesetter air intake and popped in a Bully Dog chip. These upgrades nearly knocked my socks off.

Even before Scooby-Doo and their hippie-fied Mystery Machine skyrocketed to the pinnacle of popularity, I was a huge van fan. There was just something about the elongated, cylindrical shape that made my mouth water. When I was a sophomore, I took up a humiliating job at a local fish-fry just so I could save up enough bread to buy my first van. A year and a lot of forearm burns later, I was the proud owner of my very own Dodge Tradesman. The old girl was pretty beat up, but I poured every spare dollar I had into tricking her out with all the accessories I could get my hands on. First, I installed a twin-size water bed into the rear. Then, I converted the side cabinetry into a wet bar. After that came the shag carpet and stereo system. I finished it off with some velvet upholstery and incredibly opaque window tinting.

It goes without saying that my van made me a popular man around Milwaukee. Every Friday night, I would buzz over to the ice rink and park right up front. When the ladies heard my hi-fi blasting out Don’t Fear the Reaper, they knew to ditch their dates and come outside to me. I always kept the wet bar fully stocked with plenty of Coors and Schnapps, so it didn’t take long to get those girls to lose their inhibitions. Man, those were the days. Carefree and cool is the only way to live.

Unfortunately, times change, and so do girls’ tastes. About the time Reagan took office, owning a van was suddenly seen as a liability with the ladies. I didn’t want to turn my back on my Tradesman, though. She had been loyal to me, and I was going to be loyal to her in return. I tried adding on some new accessories, like a roof-mounted wing and some chrome windshield wipers, but all the girls simply sneered.

I was in the love doldrums until the turn of the millennium. I made a Y2K resolution to “get with the times, van man,” to use the parlance of the Denny’s waitress who turned down my invitation for an all-expenses-paid night out at the Red Lobster. As soon as my January 1st hangover wore off, I rolled over to the Ford dealership, said goodbye to my Tradesman, and drove home in my shiny new Excursion. From the moment I sat down behind the wheel, I was bowled over by the SUV power that my Ford pumped out. But I wanted more. So I recently installed a Pacesetter air intake and a Bully Dog performance chip, and I can barely control the explosive power of this SUV. And the love life is definitely on the upswing. What can I say—big automobiles are nature’s aphrodisiac.

Like Cher, I Wish I could turn back time and load my Tradesman with a Pacesetter air intake and a chip from Bully Dog. Pacesetter air intakes, Pacesetter air intake, Pacesetter AiR F/X Induction Systems , Pacesetter reviews, discount, cheap, free shipping, online shopping, lowest price